Happy new week! let’s jump straight unto this week’s topic: Exhibitionism! A cousin of last week’s topic (Voyeurism if you haven’t checked the blog out already). What is Exhibitionism? Here is a simple definition, however this one is not a bad one from Cosmopolitan.com πŸ™‚

The art of loving showing themselves to others in a naked or sexual context. Some people love walking around naked, may even love playing innocent “I had no idea he/she was watching me” when in reality, they feel it’s a massive turn on. Now, not unlike last week’s blog, there is a line between the ‘kink’ and what may be deemed a clinical issue. For example, walking around naked at home or at a nudist beach or sharing nudes online between consenting adults is very different to showing yourself to people who have not consented to seeing you! One may be fun, while the other one is illegal.

As usual, let’s get some ground rules out of the way and then ask our Kinksters some questions. Remember, we can always add some, so if you have any, email them anytime πŸ™‚

Ground rules

As I harp on in every single blog post, communication is the key. Make sure that the person you’re showing yourself to is consenting, which goes without saying if you’re meeting them in your bedroom, in an adult cinema, or at a nudist beach, but anywhere else, or in doubt, check!

Be mindful of what is deemed legal VS illegal… Yes, there is such a line. Especially when it comes to being in specific areas/location or around specific people (anyone unable to consent to any sexual behaviours can not consent to you showing yourself to them!). Again, in these blogs, I am not talking about illegal and unwanted behaviours but fun, kinky, and pleasurable acts between consenting adults!!

Remember to keep safe, especially if a woman in a dark alley. Okay, I admit, this is probably extremely stereotypical, but you get the gist and the dark humour. No matter who you are and what gender, make sure you are not putting yourself in any danger, whether physically or emotionally.

Interview with a Kinkster…

1- What does it feel like to be an exhibitionist? What parts do you enjoy / seek?

For me, it’s definitely the power to know I can turn on the person watching me. The thought that I might be wanted and attractive to them is amazing. It goes beyond an issue of “self esteem” or “body image”. It’s about control and knowing that I hold a certain freedom to be as please, be who I want to be, knowing that I’m accepted as such. It’s such a turn on to feel so in control of my body, my mind and my choices.

2- Are there any down sides to it, things you worry about?

Of course. There are safety risks in showing any parts of ourselves to strangers. Whether emotionally, psychologically, or in this case sexually, it is important to ensure that you are in a setting where these people will respect you and your boundaries. For me, I show myself either in a safe setting (ie online), or if face to face I will only show myself with my partner present, knowing he will keep me safe.

3- Does your partner get jealous?

We actually had this conversation this week. In my personal case, my partner loves to share me, and as a result gets really turned on to see other people watch or touch me, as long as he gets to be involved or choose them. Let’s say I showed myself to random strangers without him there, or involved, yes the odds he would get jealous. Perhaps, it’s also about control and power, so maybe we’re not so different πŸ™‚

4- Any hot adventures you’d like to share to our blog readers?

I was always an exhibitionist growing up. It was who I was from as long as I remember, however I became aware early on that it wasn’t acceptable so I refrained from walking around naked πŸ˜‰ When I met my partner, an active lifestyle member, he introduced me to things I loved but had been to “shy” to experience. One of my hottest experiences have been to walk into a room full of people, knowing their eyes were on me, hearing their compliments as my partner introduced me to them, looking into their eyes as they watched me get closer, and in this particular case, witness the excitement and sexual pleasure I could get out of them as gave into this forbidden. Not only I experienced pleasure myself, but I loved the thrill to know I was pleasuring them by the cheer fact that I was showing myself to them, in complete control and consenting manner.

Thank you for reading and remember to ask me any topics to be added to the kink series. If you’d like to be interviewed, let me know as well πŸ™‚

Dr Stephanie Azri

Couple counselling, couples therapy, sexology

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