My book, The REAL Guide to Life as a Couple discusses the ebbs and flows of what it is like to be in and maintain a healthy, fun and sexually fulfilling relationship with your significant other.

The foundation for any relationship wanting to last in the long-term is communication. As from my experience as a psychosexual therapist engaging with couples, it is common to see a strain in a relationship due to a lack of communication between a couple.

“But Dr Azri! She just never listens to me; I feel like I’m talking to a wall”


“I keep having to tell my partner to constantly clean up after themselves, it’s becoming really frustrating! I feel like they’re not listening to me at all”.

If this is something that sounds all too familiar, then how about trying to approach your partner using the “Positive Communication in Relationships” (PCiR©) model which can be found in my book, The REAL Guide to Life as a Couple. Firstly, start of your sentence with an “I” message, then follow it with a “What” (the task you are wanting to do or get done). Next, follow it with a “Why” (why you want the task to be done) and then finish the sentence with a “Feedback”. Let me show you some examples!

“I was hoping you can help me clean the kitchen area tonight, so we don’t have to rush setting up the table for when our friends come over for brunch tomorrow. Would that be ok with you?”


“I was wanting to meet my friend Johnny tonight at this new bar that opened up down the road from his place. I haven’t seen any of my mates in a while. Do you think you’d be alright with that plan?”

Sentences that are structured in this way create a positive form of communication between you and your significant other, whilst also making you feel heard and your needs fulfilled. Sentences that are structured in this manner are also more likely to be agreed upon, as you also show that you take into consideration their opinion with their feedback, instead of telling them you’re going somewhere or doing something without any explanation.

For more tips and information, no matter how far into a relationship you are please click the link below or visit my website, , to grab your copy of The REAL Guide to Life as a Couple.

Couple counselling, couples therapy, sexology

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